I think my ‘smarts’ flew out the window sometime after I was 50. I keep doing stupid stunts that I used to do without a problem. Like climbing a grassy knoll in the pouring down rain to retrieve my blind dog, then missing the cement tire stop in the parking lot. I flew about 15 feet in the air slid on the asphalt and tore my rotator cuff. Luckily my sweet little dog was fine. Being blind probably saved her life. She couldn’t see what was coming and didn’t stiffen her joints.

Then a few years later, idiot that I appear to have become, I was trying to reach something in the kitchen from the top shelf close to the ceiling. Instead of being a normal person and getting the stepladder, I used a plastic chair that I was planning on taking outside to put on the deck. Well, the chair leg collapsed into a heat grate pinning my leg as it slipped down through the arm bracing it so that I couldn’t bend my leg and I wound up fracturing my tibia.

Amazing that for 50+ years I’ve been going along in my life, not realizing I was kind of stupid, never even much experienced anything more than bouts of poison ivy rash or bee stings.

But, this time, I really think I am done. No more stupid. I may be getting smart too late, but I am going to try. No lifting, moving pots and furniture like a 20 year old. I am going to try to act my age from now on. I say this, I write this, wearing a back brace with two severe lumbar compressions from being ‘stupid is, stupid does’.

I have great bones, younger that I am, I have been told, but maybe my brain hasn’t gotten the message that young bones don’t make you smart or young again.

So this Fourth of July, I will not be the hostess with the ‘mostess’ and everyone will be on their own. Don’t even ask me to move a chair for you!
I have retired from being younger than I am!