56,940 More Or Less


The first thing my husband says when opening the door after a long, lazy day at the beach is, “What’s for dinner?”

And even though I prefer an evening walk along the beach, my husband ‘s favorite ‘fun thing’ is to walk the dogs past all of the packed restaurants here in our neighborhood to see if they are still in business. Heaven forbid, with patrons like us they ALL would have to shutter their doors.

In a moment of desperation, with my calculator at hand, 56,940, more or less, are the number of meals I have cooked since being a wife. Let’s face it. I am tired. Just plain culinary worn out. I am tired of cooking. Cooking day in and day out with all the shopping and planning that goes along with feeding loved ones.

Now I do realize there are lucky women out there born with the ‘love-to-cook’ gene. And I really wish I were one of them. My life would be so much easier both in and out of the kitchen.

For awhile now I have realized ( and envied) that most of my friends and his friends’ wives no longer cook – either on a regular basis or even at all. More than likely it is not at all. Call in or take out.

So you naysayers might respond, “Let him do it, for heavens sake. Quit complaining!”

Well I have thought of that. Here is why that doesn’t quite work in our small kitchen here on the beach. When he makes an omelette, for instance, each egg has to be cracked into a separate bowl of its own. Then all of the ingredients have to have their separate small containers as well. Then the cooking utensils add to the prep clutter. Our counters are granite, so the liquids have no where to go except roll down the lower cabinets onto the floor, with a slippery layer remaining on the top. And then, when the chef is finished, he just walks away, pleased with himself and his fluffy omelette and leaves the cleanup to the assistant. Me. The bottom line and picture proof, unfortunately for me, is that I am not married to Mario Batali, so I have to maintain our household chef duties in order to keep my sanity.

So if there should be anyone out there with good ‘two-fer’ coupons or events involving food we can crash…please let this ‘been- there, well- over- done- that’ woman know. Please?